


home is where jaemin is

by madcities



Series: i’ll be your home [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, Homesickness, Late at Night, Light Angst, M/M, VEEEERY light angst, cuddling uwu, idek if it counts as angst, jaemin is there for him, renjun misses home, renmin, renmin are the best boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-05
Updated: 2019-07-05
Packaged: 2020-06-15 20:42:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19627306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madcities/pseuds/madcities
Summary: Jaemin has only a few weaknesses, and Renjun is one of them. A crying Renjun is even worse.(Or: Renjun loves cuddling more than he likes to admit. Especially if it’s with Jaemin.)





	home is where jaemin is

**Author's Note:**

> hurroooo here i am....... so... i recently fell back into kpop, nct in particular, sorry if you guys feel disappointed ehhhcjdj i’ll still write anime!! so don’t worry! 
> 
> anyways! about renmin <3 i love renmin ahhhh gosh but you know how i already have a semishira fic called “home is where eita is” well i’m thinking of making a whole series of those home is where ___ is fics!! i just love it mkay.... next up is markhyuck, probably! but yes hehe plz enjoy this! :DD i haven’t written in a while so this is super rusty, consider it a warming up!

Jaemin’s shared room always smells like candy and something that kind of resembles cologne, but it’s less sharp and nauseating than the kind that Jeno wears – more like perfume. It’s pleasant and it helps Jaemin breathe easy and his eyes flutter shut naturally as he powers through loud thoughts that keep his mind awake, just like he does with about anything else. 

At the same time he ignores the lack of snores on the other side of the room and the gnawing feeling of loneliness that comes with it. It starts to creep up on him, slowly, and he finds himself involuntarily acknowledging it. Although he usually would have complained about Jisung’s snores keeping him up until the late hours, he can’t help but miss them now that they’re gone. 

It’s around Christmas time, Jisung and Jeno having gone home to spend time with their families, Chenle already living with his mom, and the dorm feels empty. It’s definitely not the usual, it’s weird, so when Jaemin looks to his left and sees a perfectly made up bed and not Jisung rolled up adorably in his blankets, Jaemin’s lips move into an automatic frown.

He’s not completely alone, though. Renjun, who sleeps across the hall, had decided to stay in the dorms too, because the time off they got isn’t long enough to grant him a proper break to enjoy back in China. (Or maybe it is, but it seems like their company isn’t feeling particularly generous even with the holidays coming up.) And the gag is, Jaemin didn’t stay because he had no choice like Renjun. He stayed _for_ Renjun. 

(At this point he’s convinced he’d do anything for Renjun.)

Jaemin remembers the other two boys happily skip to their respective bedrooms to call their moms and dads, already deciding what to take home and planning trips to the mall to buy gifts, and he remembers seeing Renjun sprawled on the couch, deep in thought. Despite the great comfort of their couch and Renjun’s leisurely position, he seemed unnaturally tense. 

So Jaemin had asked. And Renjun explained. Renjun didn’t say anything except what he needed to, didn’t ask for anything, no favors. But Jaemin only looked at him, saw the sad shimmer in Renjun’s eyes, the downturn of his lips, and before he could even take notice of Renjun’s teeth sinking into his bottom lip Jaemin had already decided.

“I’ll stay with you.” Jaemin said before his brains could even register it. It didn’t take long before he was aware of just how odd the words sounded tumbling from his lips, so he opened his mouth once again to stutter out words to take back the ones he just spoke, but Renjun’s mouth fell open and he seemed surprised but not angry—he looked a bit.. happy even.

( _Why would he be angry, anyways?_ Jaemin internally questioned himself afterwards.)

And then Jaemin thought that maybe it would be worth it, if it meant seeing Renjun happy.

And it is worth it. Kind of. Or not really. Because Jaemin can’t sleep. Mostly because Jaemin is a people person and he likes his members, he lives for showering them in annoying and persistent affection and he likes babying Jisung in particular. But Jisung isn’t here. Won’t be for a while. It feels wrong almost and it pulls Jaemin out of his sleep every time he’s nearly in it, eyes glancing towards the empty bed and tightly closing quickly after in a desperate attempt to go back to sleep.

He hates being alone like this. He thinks he should have asked Renjun to sleep in Jisung’s bed, but Renjun had quickly fled to his room after they finished dinner, not even giving Jaemin the time and space. They ate Chinese takeout, maybe not the best choice considering Renjun’s homesickness, but when Jaemin had asked the older what he wanted to eat and Renjun answered ‘like home’ Jaemin didn’t have the heart to decline. 

Jaemin had long figured out that Renjun was sad, it’s only natural, and not wanting to push him any further, he had left him alone for the night. The thought of inviting him had crossed his mind, though. Jaemin imagines it, looking to his left and catching Renjun bundling in Jisung’s duck patterned sheets, body looking small and frail compared to the usual sight of Jisung’s lanky one. It would be quite the view, quite endearing, Jaemin admits. 

He shakes it off, literally shaking his head in the hopes of emptying his full mind. And it works, because after a minute or ten Jaemin finally starts to slip into a comfortable darkness. 

A familiar click and the sound of shuffling feet roughly drag Jaemin from his sleep.

For a moment, he moves around as he tucks the sheets under his cheek right where it feels comfortable, ready to go back in. But it doesn’t feel quite alright. 

And it’s when Jaemin finally gets himself to open his tired eyes that he finds himself cursing all the stars to ever exist in the universe as his eyes stare right into Renjun’s teary ones. 

Jaemin immediately shoots up into a sitting position, taking in the sight of Renjun kneeling beside Jaemin’s bed, hands clasped together as he timidly eyes Jaemin. He’s crying, not to mention, big tears rolling down his cheeks, looking like enchanting pearls against his skin illuminated by the moonlight. Jaemin feels his heart painfully clench in his chest.

“Renjun?” Jaemin barely speaks above a whisper. He almost thinks it’s all just a dream from the unexpectedness of it all, but then Renjun hiccups and the ugly sound pulls him back to reality. 

Renjun doesn’t really respond, only letting out a little high noise that comes from the back of his throat. 

He looks truly upset, with shaking lips and crying eyes. It robs Jaemin of all coherency, the ability to think at all, even. Jaemin opens his mouth but runs out of words before he can even try to find them. 

And then time just blends together, going by in a vague blur, Jaemin feeling a mix of confusion and sadness but also fascination because _God_ he knew Renjun always looked sort of adorable when crying (which is rare to begin with), but _this_. He’s gorgeous. 

But Renjun is completely silent, eyes so shiny Jaemin could swear he saw his own reflection for a split second, and he looks genuinely lost. The image stings, because Renjun _always_ knows what to do. He is never lost. 

“Homesick?” Jaemin manages to bring out. 

And Renjun just nods in response.

“Want to talk about it?” Jaemin sounds unsure, afraid to upset him further. A vulnerable and upset Renjun is new to him, it’s unknown territory.

“No, not really.” Renjun shakily breathes out, masking a hiccup with another trembling breath. “Just let me stay here, please? I can’t stand being alone right now.”

Jaemin’s heart jumps into his throat at the request. 

_Not like I could ever say no. Not to you._ Jaemin thinks. Despite Jaemin’s flirty nature, used to spewing remarks like this without stutter, this time he can’t bring himself to say it, as much as he means it. He can only open his mouth and say a quiet “Yeah.”

“Here?” Jaemin then questions, flustered, as he shifts in his bed and lifts the covers for Renjun to see. Renjun smiles a little. The sight of the small but genuine curve in his lips makes flowers bloom in Jaemin’s chest with relief, along with something else. 

“If that’s okay with you.”

And of course it’s okay with Jaemin. Next thing he knows the covers are practically thrown off to make space, Jaemin’s head dizzy with emotion when Renjun smoothly inserts himself into the bed, so easy – as if it’s his own. It’s warmer with Renjun here, Jaemin notices, and his heart races beneath his ribs as the fact registers in his mind. 

Renjun has been in Jaemin’s bed before, plenty of times, resting atop the covers in his pajamas past twelve. Jisung would be sleeping on the couch with Chenle, their weekly sleepover slash gaming night, and Renjun would come to Jaemin’s room with a new conspiracy theory on his mind. It always went like this. Renjun knows very well that there’s only one person who would voluntarily listen to his spooky theories, just across the hall, with lit candles and enough astrology blogs to read to last until sunrise.

They would do just that.

Jaemin has always welcomed him with open arms and open ears, Renjun knows this. So when Renjun settles down under his sheets and the ache inside his heart intensifies momentarily, he doesn’t hesitate to press his body into Jaemin’s side. He knows Jaemin won’t mind.

And he’s right. More than right.

Not even a second later, an arm firmly wraps around his body, holding him close and safe as if he’s the most precious thing in the universe. And perhaps he is in this moment, at least to Jaemin, as the latter presses their chests together and soothingly runs his hand up Renjun’s spine.

Feeling Jaemin’s heart beat right against his, chest to chest and hearts perfectly aligned, like stars colliding and stuttering _‘I-I-I-I’m always here’_ with every heartbeat, Renjun thinks that this is enough for now. This is okay.

And they fall asleep.


End file.
